Part of sitting in the belly of the whale is waiting. Waiting to change. Waiting for what will be. Waiting on God. While you sit, you may know in your head that God has something in store but your eyes cannot see what it is. It is a place where all of Heaven is busy working at what is unseen through our eyes.
It was in that place that we began to pray for our youngest son. In the spring of 2003 we started the very long process of becoming foster parents. Papers were filled out. Screenings and interviews were done. Finally, the day came and we were finally approved to be foster parent. Our hearts beat in expectation.
Then nothing happened.
What did happen was a long process of praying, waiting and wondering if a child would ever come our way. We were encouraged to be patient. To wait for the right match. But, to anyone that knows me patient is the last word they would use to describe me. I'll work hard, come up with great ideas on how to accomplish something, to speed up the process, to make t happen...anything but wait.
And then, on a Friday afternoon, when we were going about everyday things, we got the call.
Our worker had a "referral" they would like us to consider. The referral being a 19 month old boy. Reports were faxed over and we spent the weekend trying to digest every morsel of who this little guy was and all the pain this he had experienced in his short life. We wondered what he looked like. What he liked to do. We were unsure how he would fit in our family. Did we have the ability to do this? In many ways this wait was like birthing a baby - soon we would see his face, hold his hand, gather him in our arms and never let him go.
A few days later we found ourselves driving up to a home where "Little T" lived. Peeking through the back window was one the most beautiful children I had ever seen. His gerber baby cheeks and huge blue eyes were mesmerizing. He was perfect. We had not been in the house for more than a few minutes when he began to bat his eyelashes and turn on the charm. He warmed up to Big T right away, bringing him toys and books. In that instant every doubt was driven away. I just sat and watched him play. Telling myself over and over again that I was going to be his mommy. This was our new son. The one that we had prayed for. Soon, we would bring him home and he would meet the rest of his family. A big brother and two big sisters. A forever family... and we would be so much the richer for him being there.
And now two years later our little guy has grown leaps and bounds above all hopes they had for him. What a testimony to God’s perfect timing and fit. Every day he teaches me patience. To live right here - in today - and let tomorrow rest in God’s hands.
In fact it was quite a while after he came into our home that I realized how perfect that timing was. You see we began the process of becoming foster parents, and of praying for the child that would come into our home in the Spring of 2003. That was the exact time that Little T was born. I believe we were left waiting all that time because he needed his mom and dad to pray him through through that tumultuous time in his life. If we had rushed ahead in impatience we would not have felt that empty unseen spot that Little T would eventually fill. We would not have seen so clearly the exquisite tapestry that God was weaving as he brought us together as a family. While his face was unseen to us before his first heartbeat he was fully known to the God that holds him in the hollow of his hand.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.