Tuesday, March 27, 2007

...Kahlua Cake, Insomnia & Toddler Droppings...

The window is open in my bedroom and outside I can hear the birds singing away. They must be happy that the weather is FINALLY getting warm here. It was a balmy 18 degrees* yesterday and every child in the neighborhood was out soaking in the amazing weather.
*(that's18 celcius...65 farenheit)

Finally after months we seem to be crawling out of our house of perpetual sickness and squinting in the light.

Last night we made dinner for Big T. The girls were excited to cook Dad’s birthday meal and dessert. I was just excited to finally get it done. Big T’s birthday was, after all, in February!!

We had "A Chelsea Morning’s" Kahlua Cake that you can scroll down and find here. Except we used Starbuck’s Liqueur instead. Yuuummmy and easy. My 9 year old daughter, Pickle made it all by herself. It was moist, and did I mention easy!?

Cookie, my 10 year old, was in charge of the frosting, which was whipping cream and a piping bag. I really should have taken a picture because no words could do that beauty justice. Lets just say restraint is not her strong suit and at one point she squeezed the bag so hard the clip on the end popped off and sprayed whipped cream all over the kitchen.

Daddy felt special and reveled in being the"belated birthday boy". The kids were just happy to have cake because dessert is usually reserved for company and, since we’ve been living in a sick house for like, forever, we have had neither company, nor dessert for a while.

So, when bedtime came I lay down like normal to sleep and then just like that my mind went wild. Every think I could have thunk raced through my tired ol’ brain and I could not shut it off for the life of me... then I figured it out. The cake had coffee liquor in it - and, Starbucks to boot. And, while I love caffeine in the morning, having it at night it is not a good idea - even in a belated birthday cake.

And... while I was laying there restless and sooo tired I started thinking about my kids and how old they are getting. My baby boy is in Grade 7. I started reliving the days when they were so young. And just as I started getting all sentimental and nostalgic I remembered my first trip to the mall after baby number two...

...it all started about ten years ago...

Weeks after my baby girl Cookie was born Big T was heading to the city for an appointment. I got the brilliant idea that I would tag along with the kids and have him drop us off at the mall. Bogged down with stroller, diaper bag, purse, newborn, two-year old and still very hormonal mommy.

As soon as I was able to strap every bag and baby to the stroller we were off on our shopping adventure. Which is when I realized that shopping with two young children is not so much fun. First one would need, you know, a bottle, and then one would want a snack. And then, after the snack is, um, processed it’s time to head to the family bathroom for a change.

And that is really where the story begins. I got C up on the change table, poooopy diaper off and as I reached for a new diaper I realized that I had forgot to pack anymore his size. No problem, I thought, I would just leave him - uh - uncovered while we motored down to the drugstore for some diapers. He was two, almost toilet trained and had just "gone"...we were safe for a little while.
And then I passed my favorite store. I was drawn in... yes I was....stroller, toddler and all.

Before I knew it I was excitedly pulling things off the rack and heading to the change room. Just as I was pulled together my the first outfit IT started.

By IT I mean the pooping.
Little C had a pair of OshKosh overall shorts on - only. And big, huge turds started falling out the one pant-leg and onto the floor of the store.

"Stop that!" I whispered loudly. Little C looked up, made a scrunchy face as he dropped another uh, toddler poop, onto the floor. It was then that I realized the change room had a curtain in that only came down as low as mid-calf. Outside said change room was a lovely saleslady!

I grabbed baby Cookie’s extra outfit and started scooping up the poop as fast as he could drop it. Because I was in the change room and no where near a garbage receptacle I shoved the whole mess in the diaper bag.

While I collected poop with one hand I was desperately trying to get the store clothes off without, well, getting anything on them, and back into MY clothes so I could get this incredible pooping toddler and his mortified momma OUT OF THAT STORE!

As soon as the clothes were off I dropped the last turd in the diaper bag, picked up my son in one arm, turned the stroller around with the other and flew ...

I sprinted down the length of the mall, stopping only when I got to the diaper aisle of the drug store. While I tried to find his size, I turned around only to see him start pooping again. I grabbed a package of diapers off the shelf, ripped them open and right in the middle of the aisle strapped a diaper on that boy.

Then I looked up at the security camera and smiled.

Motherhood really is a piece of cake!

No comments: